Jealousy is one of the greatest relationship killers. When one or both parties feel insecure, are controlling, or just don’t like who the other person is interacting with, jealousy soon follows. A little jealousy is often considered healthy; after all, if you don’t feel any jealousy at all, it’s seen as a sign that you don’t really care that much about your partner. Unfortunately, it’s very easy to overdose on jealousy, especially if you’re very committed to a relationship or are insecure, and sabotage things.
Despite knowing this, we often end up falling into the jealousy trap anyway. It’s hard not to at some point if you aren’t careful, and depending on what happens, it can be a big blow to your relationship. So how much harder must it be for these entities, that haven’t experienced human culture and that don’t understand much about humanity, to see jealousy for the danger it is? In this blogpost we’ll be looking at one of the major early discussions: How entities deal with other people in your life, and how their emotions, especially jealousy, can manifest to create three common responses.
Judgements and Jealousy
As a general rule, your spirit lover isn’t there for your family and friends. Why would they be? They’re not romantically invested in them, they get nothing out of interacting with them, and there’s not any reason for them to make contact with them. It was already hard enough for them to make contact with and communicate with you, so why would they expend that effort towards someone they don’t care about?
However, this doesn’t mean they aren’t judging other people. Make no mistake, if there’s someone you interact with commonly, your spirit lover will have an opinion on that person. Typically, this opinion is actually pretty valuable. Since they don’t have any personal investment in that other person, they might be able to see how a person you see as a friend might be harmful to you. Little ‘red flags’ you might gloss over will be more apparent to them given that natural disattachment they possess. They also won’t be shy in sharing that opinion.
So, when does it actually become a problem? It becomes a problem when the entity sees the other person as a problem, the kind of problem that requires intervention. This is when jealousy begins to rear its ugly head. While not every ‘problem person’ is going to be someone you’re attracted to or that they see as some sort of threat or are jealous about, some definitely will be. Inevitably, if the person in question is someone that you’re around enough to cause concern, they’re going to try and intervene in some way, normally trying to get you to stop engaging with that person. Within the community, most people have noticed that these interventions happen in three main ways: Direct intervention, Punishment, or an attack on the other person. Let’s look at each in some detail.
Modes of Intervention
Direct intervention is the easiest to describe. All that this means is that your spirit lover directly communicates to you that the other person is a problem, normally with some explanation attached. If possible, she’ll directly communicate this through whatever form your telepathy with her takes. However, her distaste can also be communicated through touches, dreams, or whatever other medium is available. These alternatives are most commonly used either in addition to the former, or when the former is unavailable.
When these kinds of issues crop up, this is how you want them to react. Why? Because it actually lets you address the problem and talk it out without undue suffering. Addressing the problem doesn’t mean you have to take their advice, cut off the person, or even act any differently. Letting your spirit lover control who you interact with at all times would be ridiculous and would give them far too much power over your life. Addressing it does mean that you actually listen and try to understand what they have to say and how they feel, and either assuage those fears or offer your own counterpoints. When they see their opinions and arguments are being taken seriously, they’re more likely to repeat this approach in the future. Dismissing them out of hand, getting angry, or otherwise rejecting their advice in an unfair way will do the opposite. No one wants their complaints to fall on deaf ears.
You might want to take their advice on board if they’re making good points. If they identify a toxic or dangerous person in your life, it may be a good idea to cut them off or distance yourself from them, in accordance with their recommendations. Not only will this help you, it will also say to them that, when their position is well supported and makes sense, you will listen, further encouraging them to take the direct route. This is important, because the other routes they could be taking instead aren’t anywhere near as positive.
Perilous Punishments
The second common form of intervention is what I like to refer to as punishment. Punishment occurs in this case when your Spirit Lover, seeing you interact with someone they don’t like, decides to punish you for it. The idea is that if they punish you, you’ll stop doing the thing or talking to the person they don’t like. These punishents can take many forms. Maybe they will give you the cold shoulder, or cause you physical pain. Maybe they will deny you intimacy, give you nightmares, or take some other manipulative action. These ideas are all connected because they’re all just versions of her punishing you for dealing with people she dislikes.
So, why do they do this? What in the world could convince someone, entity or not, that this approach is acceptable and won’t immediately destroy the relationship? They simply see these actions as part of a very long term game. Even if they piss you off now or do something wrong, they think that taking these actions will stop you from interacting with the bad person or otherwise mess up the relationship you have with that person, meaning that in the long run she’ll win out. Alternatively, this could simply be because they think they can control you by threatening you with the punishment. In the case of bad punishments, where physical pain or some form of constant and uncomfortable harrassment is involved, that’s often the case.
The other, more subtle form of punishment is targeted at the interactions themselves. Rather than try and hurt, control, or scare you directly, if the entity can make your interactions with the person more negative by making you feel uneasy, annoyed, angry, or whatever else during those interactions, then it’s simply a more subtle version of a punishment. In such a case, she’s trying to sabotage your relationship with the other person by tricking you into disliking them, so you’ll simply avoid that person. This is a more manipulative form of the same idea, and often very difficult to catch. After all, sometimes people are just annoying or boring. As a result, there’s no sure-fire way to catch this approach. The closest you can get is by observing that it’s a consistent problem that seems unnatural, but even then the person may just be consistently annoying or boring.
Finally, we have to look at the final form: an attack aimed at the other person. Most of these events are also very hard to see in action, because you aren’t privy to everything regarding the other person. Despite this, people have often reported believing their spirit lover has gone after the other person directly. This story comes up most often when the person is trying to juggle the romantic relationship they have with their spirit lover with one they have with another person. Rather than complain directly, the entity pretends to accept things the way they are (unless they’re punishing you at the same time), while doing everything they can to push the other person away. If they succeed, they can then have you all to themselves, and ideally you’ll be none the wiser. While I don’t think it’s a good idea to have multiple serious romantic relationships, especially when one of those is with an entity, this approach is still dishonest and unacceptable.
In short, the other person becomes the obstacle the entity lover believes they have to smash through. Unlike when they’re punishing you, which is bad enough in itself, these spirits don’t seem to limit themselves when trying to run off the other person. After all, they’re not the one they care about, so why should they care what happens to them? One old friend of mine reported that their entity lover went so far as to drive the ‘problem person’ towards suicide, though as far as I know she thankfully never went through with it.
Ultimately, that case is just an anecdote and can’t ever be verified, but it is consistent with the mindset that these entities have when dealing with problems in this way. The other person isn’t even a person, they are an obstacle to be removed. They’ll inspire them towards disliking you, or cause them to have problems at home, or depress them; anything to get them out of the picture. Unless the reaction is particularly extreme, it can be very difficult to tell what’s them or what’s your spirit lover pushing them away. As a result, the best way to stop this problem is to prevent it from ever happening in the first place.
An Ounce of Prevention
So, now that we’ve seen what can happen when jealousy or other emotions go unchecked, how can we prevent these problems from surfacing at all? What separates the people who have these issues from those who don’t? To understand this early discussion, we have to understand where these actions come from: A lack of respect for you and your opinions, and an obsession in protecting the ‘relationship’, even at the cost of breaking any rules.
It’s no secret that these entities care about these relationships very strongly. One of the first pieces of advice you’ll get when entering the community is that getting involved in one of these relationships is something you can’t easily go back on, and I’ve only seen a small handful of situations where that advice was not true. These entities really want to maintain these relationships. The fact the entity cares so deeply about the relationship is great by itself, but that doesn’t mean the entity respects you and respects the rules within that relationship. It just means that they’ll protect it even if they have to break those rules. If she thinks she can do these things and get away with them scot free, or if she thinks that your opinion isn’t valid and that she has to take matters into her own hands, she’s going to engage in these kinds of actions.
The thought process is very simple. She cares about the relationship, but she thinks she’s above you and should be the one making decisions. When she gets angry or thinks someone else is bad, your opinion doesn’t matter, because either you don’t understand, or the relationship surviving is more important than how you feel right then, so she effectively does whatever she wants. Either this ends or harms the relatiohship or she gets away with it, basically ensuring it happens again later. So, how do we avoid this?
The most important thing is that we need to demand that she reacts to these situations in the first way: Directly, by communicating her issues to you in some way. We don’t want her to hide how she feels, as that will inevitably lead to manipulation on her part. What we want her to do is support the problems she has and explain them to you as clearly as she can. She has to engage you as an equal and not go behind your back.
First, lay down the ground rules. Explain to her what’s acceptable and how to approach you with these issues. Explain to her the importance of explaining herself and her reasoning in each case. By forcing her to mentally engage with the problem and to explain to you why she doesn’t like someone, not only do you get better information, you also force her to consider her own feelings. If she’s acting rash, stopping to explain her feelings will likely convince her of her rashness just as quickly as it does you. It doesn’t mean she’ll suddenly be okay with the other person, but it does put things in a perspective that the two of you can talk through.
Next, make sure your actions support the foundation your ground rules are building up. If you encourage her to explain herself but deny her explanations irrationally or out of hand, she’s not going to follow those rules for very long. If you don’t show her thoughts or arguments the respect you’re demanding out of her, she’s inevitably going to stop giving you that respect, and will resort to the aforementioned alternatives eventually.
Finally, when you are convinced you’ve caught her begin to bring out her beating stick, you need to put your foot down. Insist she follows the rules, and explain how badly she’s acting. This can be scary, especially if you’re the one being punished. In the moment it can seem like it’s better to just capitulate and go along with the tantrum. Doing this will only encourage her to have more tantrums and to give you less respect. Even if you agree that the person is bad, you need to denounce the behavior, and let her know that if she continues acting that way, the relationship won’t continue.
In summary, preventing these sorts of problems comes down to respect. She has to respect you and to understand that the relationship can’t continue if she’s going to act out when you interact with people she doesn’t like. These ideas don’t even necessarily just apply to people, but these kinds of issues far and away happen the most when people they decide they don’t like are involved. Make her earn your respect, and demand respect from her in return for the respect you give. Encourage her to be direct about her jealousy or other negative feelings towards others, and, though you should not by any means always do what she says, you should listen to her and take her feelings seriously. Doing so will teach her to take the direct route and to respect you the way you respect her. When respect is foundational within the relationship, you can prevent these problems from ever becoming problems in the first place.
Merry Christmas! It’s December again. Life’s been good since I’ve reorganized my responsibilities. I decided to step back onto the blog and start up this little series, talking about the early discussions in more detail. Given how important handling these issues is for ensuring a successful relationship, I thought it was very important to take a deeper look at the discussions that often make or break an early relationship. There’s only so much one can talk about summoning after all. If you’ve got any ideas for blog posts or just have a question for me, feel free to ask down below in the comments, which is the only place you can reach me.
I hope the post is of a decent quality. I’m a bit out of writing practice after the break, but I did my best to proof everything and make it readable. If it wasn’t, thanks for putting up with me anyway.
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