A friend of mine, who has had a long term on and off relationship with his spirit lover, recently went looking for a reading to get some sort of advice. He wanted to know more about his Spirit Lover, and perhaps gain some advice about how to handle the inevitable ups and downs in his relationship. Inevitably he found someone that he thought gave expert readings, and she gave him one. The reading he received was frankly laughable, but he didn’t know any better, and if I hadn’t intervened, his relationship could have been in jeopardy. What did she say to him that was so off the mark, and why do we have to be careful when we get readings about our Spirit Lovers?
the Truth about Most Readings
There’s a dirty secret about readings, that many readers aren’t even aware of. That secret is that confirmation bias is an incredibly easy trap to fall into. It’s all the easier if your client gives you information up front. This isn’t just because it’s easy to forget about confirmation bias, or to not know about it, but because the best way to be seen as a good reader is to confirm what the other person says and believes. After all, we’re all more likely to accept things as true if we already somewhat believe them. The problem is, sometimes the best advice is to confirm what the other person believes to be true. People that come looking for readings about their career, or their spiritual growth, often have some idea of what they want to do. Often, those approaches are valid and effective, and they’re just looking for a second person to confirm what they think is true. The reading will often confirm this. In the case of methods like tarot, this interpretation being appropriate will usually be very clear in the cards themselves. Expert readers can therefore still ignore any information they would have gotten beforehand.
Confirmation Bias can also exist due to what the reader believes. If they believe certain things about a specific topic, then you’re probably going to hear that opinion in the end. My friend’s reading was one such case. The person he found to read for him clearly believed that Spirit Lovers were just incel delusions, and that he must have made a tulpa. After she came up with that opinion, she claimed she had heard his spirit guide and the tulpa itself confirm the same thing, a clear case of confirmation bias, especially once you recognize how illogical her claim was. We already know that these methods will not create a tulpa. The idea that she didn’t feel the tulpa, and then communicated with it and a spirit guide (which she also didn’t feel) is also very illogical.
To the reader’s credit, I don’t think she intended to lead my friend astray. She was just giving a reading to the best of her ability. However, her interpretation wasn’t guarded against her own biases, and could have caused some real damage. The ability to remove oneself from that confirmation bias (as well as other biases) when doing a reading, even when you know upfront information, is one of the differences between an expert and a novice. If you don’t account for that bias, it’s easy to give bad advice about the workplace, about spirituality, and especially about relationships.
How Readings Can Derail Relationships
Sometimes, getting a relationship reading can be the push you need to make a change. In an abusive relationship a third party that you trust as an expert telling you to break things off can be very liberating and very helpful. In relationships that are healthy, the reader can encourage you to keep things going, or to spice things up for a little while. Since readings are confidential, you don’t have to worry about your feelings ending up on the grapevine either. When a relationship reading is given well and professionally, it is very useful.
However, when you ask for a relationship reading that you intend to take at face value, you are giving the reader an immense amount of power over that relationship. You are very likely to take their words to heart if you see them as an expert that is simply interpreting information from a reading. My friend’s case happens to be a great example. Before I really sat down with him and explained why the reading he got was flawed, he was taking it as fact. He hadn’t examined those claims, because he trusted the source that he had gone to. He fully believed his spirit lover was actually a tulpa, and was going to change up his approach to account for that.
What happens when a reader, who doesn’t like the spirit lover community or thinks it’s all crap, tells my friend that his spirit lover is evil, or a parasite? With the clatter of a keyboard, that relationship could end in a sudden breakup, the worst possible situation. Another friend ended up in a situation like that when he trusted an abusive expert’s opinion on his spirit lover, as he recounts in his publicly available ebook. While that didn’t involve a reading, it does show how a socially manipulative ‘expert’ can derail an otherwise healthy relationship, inevitably causing the spirit lover to freak out. She even made a profit off of his crisis.
Seek True Understanding
Oftentimes, I see people that want to come to me to get information about their spirit lover. They figure that since I’m an expert within the spirit lover community and do readings, that I can help them understand their spirit lover. The fact of the matter is that I can not and will not. I can advise you on ways that can help further your own understanding. I can give you a reading that might be a good basis for you to work off of. I can help troubleshoot your summoning attempt, and comment on other problems you may be experiencing. However, I am not the one in an intimate relationship with your spirit lover. I don’t know anything about how she feels and what makes her tick; that’s information that is private and reserved for you.
The spirit lover journey is one that is about that understanding. Your quest is to try and figure out what makes your spirit lover tick, and to grow as close to them as you possibly can. There is no reading, no advice, and no secret occult ritual that can create a shortcut in that process. Hungering for that understanding is a natural feeling, because the more you understand and know about your spirit lover, the stronger the relationship you can achieve with her will be. It’s like two beings slowly and methodically becoming more harmonious with one another. There is no shortcut to true understanding, because a true understanding of your spirit lover isn’t just knowledge. It’s not even just a feeling either, it’s a state of being, of two individual instruments playing a cooperative tune that ever inches closer and closer to perfection. That is the quest of every person who begins one of these relationships, and there is no advice or reading that can offer you a shortcut on that path.
Not a ton to report. I’ve been writing and working. I should reach the editing phase soon, which is exciting to think about. I think I might also try my hand at some fiction after I finish that book, though I have no idea what I’ll decide to write about in that arena.
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