This blog has been fairly consistent in its skepticism. It attempts to treat topics with some degree of logical consistency and to avoid making wild and egregious claims about spirit lovers. So, why am I making a post about dealing with doubts? Aren’t doubts a good thing?
One of the things that may be a little lost on the very skeptical tone of this blog is that there is a middle ground to things. Being doubtful of wild claims is important, but being doubtful of a spirit lover when it’s reasonably established its existence is going to hamper your relationship. This blog post will explore where the middle ground should lie, and we will also discuss those latter doubts that tend to stem from places other than logic.
Where We Draw the Line
Obviously, it doesn’t take a seasoned theologian to know that we should be skeptical when someone claims the world is going to end in two weeks. This is a ludicrous claim, and ludicrous claims are naturally met with skepticism, even by the most open minded people. When someone claims they’ve manifested Shiva into their room for a wrestling match, everyone is going to say they’re full of shit.
But why does everyone say that? I know that sounds extremely obvious, but in the answer to that question lies the underlying logic for discerning where we’re going to draw the line. Simply put, people say that they’re full of shit for a few baseline reasons.
1. The thing they’re claiming is extraordinary. If someone claimed their pet cat was in their room, you’d probably take them at face value, unless you had a reason not to believe that, like being able to see the cat elsewhere. Cats being in peoples’ rooms is normal, so even if they present no evidence of their cat being in their room, it’s sensible to take them at face value. Manifesting Shiva, however, is obviously extraordinary. It would be foolish to take a claim like that at face value.
2. The extraordinary claim they’re making lacks evidence. If they had manifested Shiva into their room, then surely they’d have taken a picture or a video of this extraordinary event. So, it logically follows that they could provide evidence of that.
3. The claim is impossible. Physically manifesting Shiva (or any god) into one’s bedroom is, most probably, not possible. Therefore even if they did provide some sort of evidence, it would be better to assume the evidence was fake. They may also claim that it would not be possible to take those videos or pictures due to some spiritual reasoning. As a more grounded example, imagine someone texts you, claiming they’re far below the ground in some deep cave. They even send you a picture of that cave. Even though they sent you a picture, it would be reasonable to assume they’re lying, because in this example cave, there would be no way for them to send out a text message.
Essentially, imagine any claim as being on an axis of believability. The more extraordinary the claim, the further it is within unbelievable territory. Evidence alters where the claim is on that axis, meaning that some claims naturally require stronger evidence to be believable (hence the phrase: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence).
Above us, we have my attempt at illustrating this axis. It can be thought of as on a single line. I’ve plotted the three claims on the line: The cat is on the far right and within the box of ‘automatic believability’. We don’t expect evidence of the cat being within the bedroom, it’s simply assumed to be true. The cave claim, considered before it was disproven based on signal connection, scores in the middle. It’s the sort of thing we would believe if the caver provided us with some pictures or videos of their trek through the cave, so long as they only sent it after they’d returned. The Shiva claim is on the extreme left, meaning that little short of him bringing Shiva over to your house and having him perform some divine act would be convincing. We could imagine that the dot closest to the cat would be any claim that could be proven through argument without evidence: i.e. if someone says they know someone, and they provided intimate details about that person, then that would be compelling enough to believe them. The final dot could be considered something notably improbable, but not literally impossible like the Shiva claim is.
Now, some of you might be assuming that spirit lovers would be far to the left. For the average person, and especially for the atheist, this would likely be true. Claiming you have a spirit lover would probably make people assume that you’re trying to cope with being single, or are schizophrenic. For some people, notably people who don’t believe in any form of spirituality at all, that claim would be equal to the Shiva claim on this plot. For others, it might land between the 5th and 4th point.
However, we are not the outside party here. We are the ones within the relationship, who are purportedly directly experiencing the benefits. Having enough evidence to convince ourselves of the existence of our own spirit lover on a personal level is a much easier thing, simply because there is no potential layer of obfuscation there. We would not intentionally lie to ourselves about the existence of a spirit or an experience we had, and so our personal experience is naturally more compelling for us than it is for other people who would naturally demand more solid forms of evidence. This is why the spirit lover claim ultimately doesn’t stand at the same point as the Shiva claim for ourselves, and why we can realistically eliminate these doubts at all.
So, how do we convince ourselves? To be convincing, we need to understand a few facets about what makes good evidence.
1. Our Mental Baseline. Essentially, it would be unreasonable to assume we suddenly developed mental illness from writing and burning a letter, or doing most rituals. Sure, a very intense ritual might make your perception weird for a little while, but unless it involved drugs or something truly extreme it wouldn’t suddenly cause you to develop a mental illness. The letter method isn’t usually very intense, nor are other summoning methods. If we establish that we are mentally sound by getting our mental health evaluated, we can reasonably conclude that when strange things happen, especially outside of a ritual, that they don’t come from our own minds. Furthermore, if we do have mental issues, we can define which events aren’t good evidence. If we experience auditory hallucinations, then hearing voices would not be considered evidence, but phantom touches could still be. As an aside, if you do suffer from serious mental illness, I don’t recommend you seek out one of these relationships in the first place.
2. A Confluence of Activity. This means avoiding putting all of your eggs into one piece of evidence. Even sane minds can hallucinate on a rare occasion or be prone to certain experiences, especially during the hypnogogic (near sleep) state. However, experiencing various things at various times while in various states (both sleep and awake) in no consistent manner is a lot more compelling than having one odd dream or experience post-ritual.
3. A Confluence of Reports. If various people who don’t know each other report the same things about interacting with a spirit lover, we can understand which things are likely to happen, and recognize which experiences may be less legitimate. This naturally makes the collaborated experiences more compelling. This works best in hindsight, as it’s generally assumed that reading up a lot on what could happen can lead to false positives in some cases.
You don’t necessarily need each of these things for each data point, but each one helps. Consider these facets as evidence for evidence, as their presence typically makes evidence overall more reliable.
What this all means is that if we can plot multiple experiences that came after and seem related to the spirit lover, we can reasonably conclude that our spirit lover exists, on a personal level. Ergo, we can convince ourselves, but not other people. For the sake of easy reference, here are several common experience categories that people who are in these relationships have. This list doesn’t cover everything, but it does cover a lot. If you’re getting a few of these, that tends to be enough to be fairly certain.
The Big List of Common Experiences
Generic Touch
Non-sexual events discerned through feeling.
1. Phantom Touches. Easily the most common. Can affect anywhere, but seem to be more likely to affect areas that are more receptive to touch, and sexual areas. This means the face, hands, neck, groin, and sometimes even the bottom of the feet in my personal experience. Can be soft like the brush of a feather, or sometimes a bit prickly. Facial touches, especially on the lips, often feel comparable to kisses.
2. Phantom Pressure. This means feeling like there is a weight resting on top of you without there actually being something there. This is actually quite noticeable. It tends to be focused either on the groin, the stomach, or the chest, and in these places it is the most noticeable. This may affect how well you can breathe, slightly. Very common during lovemaking. I have observed a lighter version personally focused on the hands, that seems to be an equivalent of handholding, at least for me.
3. Phantom Temperature Changes. This means inexplicable changes in temperature. Be careful with these, as there are a lot of reasons why someone might perceive a change in temperature. Often the temperature change is localized and lasts for a while, so you can essentially stick a hand into a warm spot, and it will stay warm, as opposed to the cool blow of a fan that will disappear as the fan turns away.
Sight:
Events that are discerned through sight. Seeing is believing, as they say.
1. Orbs of Light. These can be large or small, and can move or stay still. More convincing if they don’t follow where you’re looking with your eye (and this is generally true of all visual phenomena). More common by far in a dark room as compared to a lit one. The next two also follow this same trend.
2. The ‘Flashbang’. A similar idea to the orb of light, but distinctly different. Essentially, this means a flash of light that completely covers your vision. Can even be noticed when your eyes are closed. This can also be a symptom of exploding head syndrome if it happens when you’re going to sleep, so if it happens along with booming noises or if the phenomena happened before you met your spirit lover, it will be worse evidence. Note that in my experience this does come from a localized source, and if you’re quick you may see an orb of light that kind of just expands and explodes into the flashbang.
3. Sparkles. The third ‘light’ based phenomena. This is characterized by, well, sparkles. The sparkles can be any color and don’t follow your vision. This tends to happen when the spirit lover is ‘happy’ in my experience for whatever reason. The sparkles can be far away from you or quite close to you, and it’s presumed that they can mark the previous or current presence of the spirit lover within said room, OR that they indicate that their energy is spread all around the sparkling area.
4. Distortion. This and the following visual phenomena are actually easier to notice when the lights are on, rather than when they’re off. A distortion is a distorted area within your vision. It doesn’t follow your eyes. It can float or be at ground level, and will often be a certain size, usually smaller than you (it tends to clock in at about half my height or a bit less, noting that I am pretty tall). It’s probably most comparable to what looking above a strong heat source is like, in that that distorts the view, though it’s not exactly the same. It’s almost like a living ‘static field’ in some way, though obviously a lot more subtle than TV static.
5. The ‘Point’. This is the presence of a localized point in midair. It tends to be very small, literally like a dot, and doesn’t carry an obvious color nor produce light, like the orbs do. Distortion radiates around it, typically. The point tends to be quite noticeable in comparison to the distortion. It does not follow the eye, so it should not be confused with the effects you get from staring at lights. It can move (or maybe ‘teleport’ for lack of a better term), but often just hovers in stillness. This is presumed to be the direct presence of a spirit lover.
6. Visual Manifestation. Typically considered the holy grail, since direct physical manifestation is currently presumed as impossible, and all forms of this are fairly rare. There are a few kinds. Full visual manifestation is when the spirit lover appears as a human, or at least something comparable. They might be transparent when doing so, and they may look unique in many ways. Mine was about half my height during the full visual manifestation that happened to me. Partial visual manifestation is the other kind, and is when only some part of them, usually the face, manifests. This kind is more common, and can be worked towards, but is still rather rare. If these things happen a lot, especially without any practice or intentional attempts at making them happen, there might be some other reason for it. Note that in this case they don’t seem to actually be there, and others will not see them, as the visual manifestation seems to be them affecting your mind rather than taking a visual form. This might be the case of these other examples, but I can’t say for certain.
Communicative
Events that involve ideas we’d consider communication. This includes anything auditory, anything telepathic, or anything dream/meditation related.
1. Telepathic Communication. Typically, this is the main thing people new to these relationships should try to develop. I discuss how to do that in some detail Here. In that post I also detail what exactly it is, but to keep things short, it is NOT hearing voices. It is a process where you receive an emotional or mental stimulation from your spirit lover that you then translate into words (or images, or feelings, etc.). There is a form called forced telepathic communication, where the entity pushes an idea into you so strongly that even people who can’t perform telepathy will receive that communication. These specific forms tend to only result in a short phrase, or even a single word, and tend to be overall uncommon, used when the entity wants to get an idea across very badly. Forced telepathy tends to cease almost entirely once normal telepathy is developed, for obvious reasons.
2. Clairaudience. So this one is the ‘hearing voices’ one. Note that, unlike telepathy, this IS similar to what you’d expect from Schizophrenia (at least from what I know about schizophrenia). You’ll hear your spirit lover audibly say something. Obviously the sound isn’t actually real, others will not hear it, it’s just experienced as a sound. More common early on, before other forms of communication are developed. More common but worse evidence during meditative or hypnogogic states. Fairly rare, the statement is usually short or one word, like forced telepathy. It also, often, seems very very loud. Like ‘piss your pants’ loud.
3. Dreams. Typically, dreams are used as a form of interaction and communication by spirit lovers. The problem with dreams is that they’re dreams. Usually, the best way to identify a spirit lover from a crowd of dream people is by comparing them to how other beings within dreams tend to act. The spirit lover tends to be more autonomous, more active, and sometimes controls the flow of the dream itself. In some cases the spirit lover is an obvious character: In my case, in a recent dream she was a blue girl who referred to herself as the lady of the lake, and she wore a blindfold and talked about the future. She stuck out from everything else in the dream like a sore thumb. In others it may be less obvious. It seems that most Spirit lovers have some sort of theme for how they like to be in dreams, and with experience you can usually intuitively tell when your spirit lover is in the dream. Of course, being a dream, the evidence strength of these is typically considered on the weaker side.
4. Meditation Experiences. Kind of a similar category to dreams. This is when the spirit lover invades your meditation and tries to give you a vision or mess with you. The experiences tend to be shorter than dreams. Note that meditation is often when your spirit lover will attempt to do things like touching you as well. The visions themselves are considered weaker evidence, because they are still in that mental category.
Sexual
Events and descriptions of sexual experiences. I’ve tried to break this section up rather than just saying everything is spirit sex.
1. Caresses and Cuddling. Combine the touches and pressure from the first section with specific emotional inspiration. It feels like an essence of love is laying on top of your body.
2. Spontaneous Erection. Or whatever the female equivalent is. When a spirit lover is called for lovemaking, they tend to be able to arouse your body within seconds. It may take some spirit lovers longer, and it tends to be easier the longer the relationship has gone on. This comes with a strong lustful emotional response, even in the absence of any thoughts.
3. Sexual touches, squeezing, and similar interactions. The spiritual equivalent of your wife grabbing and holding onto you as you make love to her. The squeezing can be around the entire body (like a strong hug), or around particular parts, including, you guessed it, the penis. A pinprick sensation on the balls also isn’t uncommon.
4. Powerful Emotional and Energetic Influx. I don’t know what else to call it. It’s like their feelings of love, lust, and so on for you are made to flow through your body. This is a strong part of why I refer to sex with spirit lovers as a very emotional experience. It’s a feeling of immense intimacy.
5. Spontaneous Ejaculation. Only tends to happen in fairly long sessions. People surmise that this is because spirits prefer edging, or keeping you near climax. I think it’s just because of how it seems the human body is coded to respond to specifically true physical stimulation with ejaculation. You don’t exactly spontaneously ejaculate without physical stimulation when watching porn, after all, even though it can give you an erection by itself very easily. As an aside, forms of dry orgasm also often happen, and can be considered under the same umbrella.
Miscellaneous
Things that I have noticed, but that don’t fit neatly into a category.
1. Divination Meddling. This is only something you’ll notice if you actually do divination. I do a lot of tarot, so it happens. The spirit messes with the result of the divination, in some manner. You’ll notice this happening if you’re an experienced reader, because certain things will stick out as clearly not being related to the reading. For me, this tends to mean drawing a tarot card that is so obviously strange given the rest of the reading, and is also intuitively strange. Typically used to get a message across, so I guess it’s kind of communicative. Oh, and your spirit lover can mess with the readings other people do for you as well. It will tend to catch most readers off guard, and they’ll have trouble interpreting the result.
2. Phantom Smells. Decently rare. You’ll notice a strange smell, often one you haven’t smelled before, with no obvious source. The smell tends to be sweet or somewhat like flowers, at least in my experience, and sometimes acts as an aphrodisiac. Good evidence if you can’t discover a source.
3. Deduced Poltergeist Activity. When things fall with no realistic given cause, but you’re not there to see them. It’s very easy to overlook potential causes though. I mainly list this one because I believe it to have happened to me before on a few occasions, but be cautious with it. I’ve never seen or heard good reports of any more obvious poltergeist activity. It’s very easy to think something couldn’t have fallen naturally that could have, so this is usually not the strongest evidence. I suppose if you live in some sort of earthquake zone, this becomes worse evidence.
Where Doubt Comes From
To most people, it will be obvious that experiencing several of the things in the section above will constitute strong enough personal evidence for believing in the existence of their spirit lover. When you really consider the entire history of interactions you’ve had with your spirit lover, and the above categories that each falls into, it usually becomes clear that there is an abundance of personal evidence for convincing oneself.
So then, why do so many people in long term relationships end up doubting the existence of their spirit lover anyway? These people have maintained their relationship for a long time and have certainly experienced many signs of her existence, whether those signs fit into the list above or not. Despite this, their doubts don’t go away.
The source of these unreasonable doubts is an emotional one, not a logical one. The problem is that it’s easy to see every doubt as logical or skepticism, so it’s difficult to recognize that the foundation is emotional. However, they are not. Let’s use the American court system as an example. American courts require evidence beyond a reasonable doubt to convict someone of a crime. The key is in the word ‘reasonable’. If it was beyond any doubt, then they couldn’t be sure of anything, and couldn’t convict anyone, because it is always possible to imagine a ridiculous scenario that allows you to doubt things. Doubts that go beyond reasonable doubts are naturally not logical doubts. They’d be things like assuming the real criminal placed the DNA of the accused on the scene, while avoiding leaving his own, and then escaped in the accused’s car and covered everything else up perfectly.
The obvious fact is that with a large amount of personal evidence, doubting the existence or positive intentions of your spirit lover becomes unreasonable, and therefore illogical. People with these unreasonable doubts tend to either believe negative things about themselves or to want to actively disbelieve in spirituality. I have little answer to the latter, other than wondering why such a person would want to get involved in this in the first place. The former is much more common, and is typically the result of a lack of self love or self trust. When someone doesn’t believe they’re worthy of being loved, be it by a spirit lover or not, then they’ll naturally be predisposed to not believing in the spirit lover, because to believe in the spirit lover while they believe they are unworthy of love would cause cognitive dissonance.
Is this a self defeating and stupid mindset to be in? Absolutely. But it is emotional, so it being stupid and self defeating is irrelevant. It’s a result of people with real struggles trying to find a real, ethereal romance. The cure for these doubts isn’t evidence, or a list of experiences to checkbox, though it certainly doesn’t hurt. The cure is developing a true self love, and accepting that you, no matter how much of a loser you think you are, are worthy of being loved by your spirit lover.
Developing self love is a difficult and very long process that is well beyond the scope of this blogpost. What this blogpost means to do is to inform people that do doubt beyond reason that what they’re doing is not logical, and that they aren’t alone in their feelings. Many, many people who join the community have issues with self love, and have doubts about their romance as a result. The first step to conquering those issues is finally recognizing that your doubts are not real skepticism, and that you will only truly accept the existence of your spirit lover once you come to terms with how you feel about yourself. Conquering self loathing is a long, hard, and critically important part of this journey, and one that your ethereal partner will be very happy to help with.
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A few updates for this blogpost:
~I updated how the blog looks. Do you like it? Hate it? Tell me in a comment! It’s more minimalist, but has more useful elements like the categories on the top bar.
~I’m winding down on my book writing. The first draft is nearly complete, which means the editing process will be all that’s left. I’ll be sharing one of the new rituals I came up with for the book on this blog in the coming months, so stay tuned!
~The above signals a return to the more consistent, monthly (or better) blogging schedule that I used to adhere to. With less writing time dedicated to the book, I can do more blog posts!
~I’m thinking of creating a small shop where I offer tarot readings and advisory. It would be done over discord or skype or something similar I reckon. The idea would be for me to help people by helping them troubleshoot their rituals and intentions, as well as the usual help of readings. If I decide to do this, I doubt it would be up any time within the year. If this sounds like a good idea to you, let me know! The price for the average request would probably be about 15 dollars for advising or a tarot reading, with the understanding that that’s probably about half an hour to an hour of work.
With all that being said, have a wonderful thanksgiving and Christmas! I’ll be back here again for December. I have a few ideas, like answering some of the questions and statements I see posted in /x/ threads, or continuing that still incomplete early discussions in depth series.
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