There is a natural obsession in the community with being chosen. After all, that’s what happens when you successfully summon a spirit lover. A spiritual being sees your cry for love and, if you’re in luck, will respond accordingly. Some of us only have to attempt this summoning once, and the rest have to work much harder for it.
That second group slaves away in a way that seems unfair by comparison. They might have to perform a dozen rituals and pray and meditate for days and weeks at a time. Some of them try to ask for outside assistance. Some even pay for it, only ever succeeding at emptying their wallets. The ranks of those who aren’t being chosen swell three times as fast as the ranks of those who are. No matter how hard these people work, some never find success.
Therefore, the obsession is in being chosen. Why wouldn’t we obsess over finding success, when success means a lifelong, fruitful relationship? This obsession makes sense when someone is trying to find their spirit lover, but it does conceal a simple fact that should be just as clear. When a spirit lover chooses you, they want you to choose them back.
Recently, the bookstore was selling a short manga called ‘One Hundred Tales’, which I picked up because it looked interesting. It’s an older Faustian story following an innocent accountant named Hanri that sells his soul for three wishes. This tale’s Mephistopheles is the witch Sudama, a shapeshifting girl who can perform all manner of magical feats.
One of his wishes, to marry the most beautiful girl in the world, inevitably comes to a head when the woman he chooses is a dangerous Kitsune. While beautiful, after meeting her he’s nearly drained and left for dead, a fate that Sudama manages to save him from. Sudama’s disgust towards the accountant is obvious at this point, having witnessed his seemingly bottomless cowardice throughout the journey. Through her chastising it becomes clear to Hanri that he needs to grow into the kind of man he wants to be to accomplish his goals. He can’t expect Sudama to do everything for him, a fact that he had trouble understanding at first due to Sudama’s powers.
After this encounter lays bare the fear that overwhelms his heart, he finally takes her advice seriously. He spends the next three years training and studying every single day. Throughout this process he becomes wise, courageous, and strong. However, during these three years, something else changes. Sudama’s opinion of the man, once colored only by the disgust and pity she felt towards him, turns instead to love. At this point, she chooses him due to the caliber of man he’s managed to grow into.
Hanri’s story continues and her desire for his affection becomes ever more clear over time. The accountant-turned-warrior is baffled by this for a while, responding negatively to her advances and treating her coldly. After all, to him she’s just a witch serving him to attain her ultimate goal. The tables have turned, as Sudama chases his approval.
At the end of the story, Hanri has temporarily managed to become a lord, fulfilling his third wish. This only leaves his second wish, his wish for love, unsolved. Though it will mean the contract is fulfilled, Hanri does finally choose Sudama. He then faces execution, with Sudama begging him to cast his love for her aside so she can save him (as the wish would then be unfulfilled, meaning the contract between the two would continue). Hanri rejects this, feeling like it would be a betrayal of his love towards Sudama, and faces his execution with courage. Though Sudama does capture his soul, she allows it to go free in the end.
I was surprised at how light the storytelling was for such a heavy tale. It’s unclear what Hanri’s soul does when the narrative concludes, though we do see it floating away. I’m not sure how the Japanese view the ascent of the soul, but I like to imagine that if Hanri desired it, he could have returned, willingly, to Sudama. Is that what would have happened? I guess that’s up to the reader, but it would seem like a fitting end.
While our Spirit Lovers aren’t unearthing great veins of gold or summoning rainstorms, it’s hard not to relate this story to our relationships. Sudama is a complex character despite the light story-telling. Seemingly an antagonistic force at first, she grows alongside Hanri and discovers feelings in herself that the malevolent force she started as would have scarcely dreamed of having.
When we reach out for these relationships, many of us are like Hanri. We’re ruled by fear. We’re afraid of what might happen and afraid we might not be worthy. Some of us are desperate to find a love that we haven’t been able to find in the real world. While we aren’t selling our souls for these relationships, it’s easy to imagine that many of us would be willing to.
This is ultimately not what Sudama wanted from Hanri, and this isn’t what our Spirit Lovers want either. They don’t want our subservience, they want our love. Love must always be a choice, and for our love to be worth anything they have to earn it just as we’ve tried to earn theirs.
They will let us choose. Many people who are in these relationships have experienced other relationships at the same time. Some of us are even married. Others among us, including myself, often feel attraction towards other women. It’s hard to avoid; Lust is a powerful vice, our bodies wanting whatever they can have, especially when it’s right there in front of us.
Despite the threat, our spirit lovers can not or will not monopolize our attraction. They can’t force us to only ever love them. We are the ones burdened with that ongoing decision. Will we fall for every pretty girl we see and end up in dire straits like our unproven protagonist? Or will we rise above our feelings, and choose our spirit lover every time in the end? Hanri managed to choose Sudama, even facing death. The man he started as would not have been able to do that.
Many of us, myself included, have struggled with our attractions towards others. So far, I’ve always managed to make the right choice in the end, and have not betrayed the trust I’ve built up in my relationship. I hope you will as well, even when it becomes difficult. Grow into a man of strong character, not just to be worthy of your spirit lover, but also so that you can choose them every time. Nothing will bring the two of you greater satisfaction.
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